No Junk Mail

The U. S. Postal Service could learn a valuable lesson in customer service from the Australians. In Australia, you can decline junk mail at your mailbox, and the letter carrier honours your request. Cool, huh?

Speaking of junk mail, I’d like to take this opportunity to answer some of it. This is most likely the only answer much of my mail will ever get. We really like getting good mail, especially personal notes of encouragement, personal news, and things that you actually write yourself. Thank you for sending those. Now for the rest:

First, to the Nigerians (and others) who have a very large sum of money they would like to transfer to me, in exchange for personal information and perhaps some preliminary “smaller” amounts of money: Just use some of that massive amount of money to cover the costs involved, and send a certified cheque or money order to my current address. If you can’t do that, then I’m sorry, but I have no reason to believe that you are telling the truth. I admire your persistence, creativity, and apparent large numbers, but I strongly recommend that you repent, turn from your dishonest ways, and ask Jesus Christ to take charge of your life.

Second, to those who write to me asking for free Bibles and other Christian literature or money for your ministry, especially those of you in African nations, please note that the only free Bibles I give away are those Bibles in electronic form only that can be freely downloaded from and associated web sites and those that my wife and I hand out in person to people the Lord leads us to do so with. Since you obviously have Internet access, please make use of this opportunity. Ask the Lord about what honest ways you can get a printed Bible, too, and if you are sincere, I have no doubt that He will answer. As for money for your ministry, we are already committed to give in ways the Lord has directed us, so we don’t really have anything to give out to strangers who send unsolicited email. Unless the Lord specifically directs otherwise, we don’t even answer such email requests (especially when they are mass-mailed).

Third, to those who want to sell me drugs by email, but lie about who they are and break the law in making their offers, I’m truly amazed that there are enough people stupid enough to take you up on your offers that you haven’t stopped trying, yet. Also, if you are advertising ways to enhance experiences that used to be taboo to discuss in mixed company or enlarge anatomical parts that really don’t need it, please stop. You are perpetuating lies about what really matters in such areas, and someone might actually believe you and suffer for it. Check out what the Scriptures say about marriage and proper relationships, and you may also see the keys to better physical relations that flow from better spiritual relations.

Fourth, to the pump & dump stock tip givers: may the FTC and IRS visit you soon, unless you repent, make good any unjust gain, and turn to Jesus Christ.

Fifth, to the phishers, pharmers, and liars seeking information for the purpose of theft: repent. Jesus Christ is merciful, but He does ask that you repent. That means stop doing evil and start doing what is right. He’ll help you to do that, too, if you ask Him to.

Sixth, to those who forward chain letters to us: please don’t. We don’t forward them. If it has good content (which a few actually do), we have probably already seen it. If it warns of a virus or some other evil, it is probably a hoax; and if it isn’t, we will have already been warned by some other more reliable and reputable means. If it promises riches, it is probably false. Email chain letters are really hard to kill. They mutate in the wild and keep coming back. Some email hoax chain letters have been circulating for decades.

I wish this little note worked as well as the notes on mailboxes in Australia. 🙂